2016 senior column: Leaving a mark: Lauren Dell

Just a girl learning how to express her emotions


Lauren Dell leaves her mark on the wall outside the EHS-hub, May 11.

High school is an emotional time. People are going through puberty and everyone’s hormones are all screwed up. But I am a person who is not really in touch with my own emotions.

I am in a constant state of being over what I interpret as people’s drama. Most days I feel like teenagers over exaggerate everything and blow everything out of proportion.

Not so long ago, my friends broke up with each other. The girl in this situation was gutted. She didn’t each much for months. She didn’t know what to do with herself and her time. She was lost.

I have to admit. I just didn’t get it. No one died. There are more people out there. The odds of us ending up marrying our high school sweethearts are slim. So it is inevitable. We will break up with people.

That’s why I like not having emotions. And though that state is unique amongst my peers and maybe the world, I’m okay with it.

However, I recently realized that sometimes my emotions overwhelm me and I don’t have the emotional intelligence to know it. Those feelings grow inside my head and take over. Before I know it, I am crying and I don’t even know why.

Stress is the biggest one. I get stressed out about my grades and those concerns turn into an all-consuming fire that paralyzes and consumes me. I know in my head I am not burning up, but it sure feels that way.

While I am content to not be an emotional person, I am not content to have my emotions control me. In order to change that, I have had to learn to identify and express my feelings a bit more. It’s like learning a foreign language.

My family and friends have been my translators all this time, but now I have to learn the language myself since I am heading out into the wider world.

Part of my future success will rely more on me than ever before. Not only do I need to figure out my major and what I want to do for money as an adult, I need to identify my triggers and learn to navigate in that world whose language I am just now learning.

To incoming freshman or about to be seniors, if you feel the same way don’t fret. I am rather intimidated, but I have made it through four years of high school and I’m still going strong.